The Ebony Princess doesn’t need The Bodyguard nor is she dazzled by gifts like designer clothes and bags but there is nothing she loves more than a decent self-respecting man who loves her.She values your showering her with RESPECT more than diamonds.
If you’re even thinking of saving the Ebony Princess from any peril – imagined or real – you’re far off the mark.She’d probably even think that you’re mocking her if you call her your Ebony Princess. Well, her “brothers” may call her that, but you’re not one of her “brothers” and that may be a complication if you’re in love with her. Accept that you’re different because you don’t belong to her sub-culture. Neither should you “act out” something like your idea of “it” or you could look absurd.Sure, it can be initially difficult but remember the cliche’ that true love knows no bounds? Or no guts no glory. Anyway, if you are lovesick over a black woman, it is better to take the plunge than forever live in tormenting angst.
Understand that she isn’t a damsel in distress and she doesn’t need a White Knight. Besides, if she has real troubles, she usually has enough pride NOT to let you know until you’ve won her heart. Most black women are capable of taking care of themselves and others too. They’ll figure out “any given situation” their way. After all, the black woman of today is the result of a grand line-up of feisty mothers and grandmothers who were “Jills-of-all-trades” and experts of any “given situation”.Never call yourself her White Knight because she’s not THAT juvenile. Most black women are realists and pragmatists when it comes to love and choosing that special man to spend forever with. They know that knights exist only in fairy tales and that life isn’t one.
Thus,if you’re a white man in love with a black woman, make sure that you are totally in love with her. Anything less than being totally in love, is unacceptable. Most white men are awed by black women because they are naturally exotic but there is a vast difference between fascination and love.Loving a black woman means commitment and accepting her sub-culture,family, friends and what you may term as “sub-cultural eccentricities”.Most of what you may think are “eccentricities” are a their flair of creativity and independence.
If you think you’re definitely in love, cut the obsequiousness during the courting phase. Remember that black women are highly intelligent creatures who are gifted with an internal radar-they can detect if you
are trying to manipulate their feelings and responses or if you’re being absolutely honest.
Being honest with them about yourself will save you from a lot of future issues.Love naturally demands complete honesty. So, if you really are in love with a black woman you should be courageous enough to be tell her only the truth.Be direct about your intentions and assure her that you’re giving her all the time to decide on it. Be open and express your feelings. If you feel intimidated because of “sub-cultural differences” ask her to help you understand the complexities.
Black women respect men who keep promises no matter how “small” the promises seem to be. If you say that you’re calling her on Saturday morning, make sure to give her a call. No, you won’t get away with : “Something came up and I just couldn’t get hold of a phone..” No matter how inconsequential your promise seems to have been, your word does matter. A man’s word of honor, may sound passe’ in today’s quick paced world but that is no excuse for black women.If you have a date and a real emergency arises ask someone to call her and inform her but never leave her waiting for no one. Never promise her gifts you can’t deliver even if it’s only a pizza. Establish your reliability from the start.
Truthfulness is a biggie. Most back women aren’t drama queens and may not say anything when they detect a “little lie” about a wee thing or two, but they aren’t forgetting it either. The only way to say something to a black woman is to tell it like it is. These women respect men who are truthful and secure enough to tell the women they love about their past indiscretions, their hang ups, and their families.Do not try and impress her by making-up tales like you’re a College graduate if you’re not. Neither should you tell her that you’ve never been married if you’re divorced. Be specific and truthful about your “facts”. Do not assume she won’t do a check on you.She may not check your story, but remember that a black woman recalls every story you tell her years later.You wouldn’t want to quarrel ten years later over the fact that “you said you had a College degree” a long time ago.
Family is a major for the black woman. Appreciate it when she tells you anecdotes from “Momma” or “Poppa”. Most black women treasure family ties and try and keep in touch with their parents and siblings no matter how independent they seem and how adult they are. There is no such thing as complete independence from their family.
Part of the virtues of a good black woman is recognizing her immediate roots and being part of her family’s support system. It isn’t unusual for a black woman to stay on the phone for hours to encourage a “sister”. Sister can mean any of her literal siblings of her closest circle of friends. Respect her uniqueness and admire the generosity of her soul instead of being annoyed.Calculate her feelings and if you feel that it would not make her feel awkward or uncomfortable, ask her if you can meet her immediate family. Show her that you are eager to be counted as part of her family and that you share her concerns about family and friends. On the other hand, do not be pushy and insist that you meet them unless she’s comfortable with the idea.
If you love her realize that some black women have deep Church roots. Despite their favorite red color manicure and pedicure and their stylish flair, most are attached to their Church and their “fellowship” friends. If you want her to fall in love with you, do something like taking her or fetching her from Church. Ask her questions about her faith and show that you are sincerely enthused by her spirituality.
Tell her about your work and job. There is nothing a black woman respects more than a man who can hold a great job and who makes it clear that he has big dreams and ambitions “for both of you and your future family”. On the other hand, share and clarify that you likewise respect women who are intelligent and steeped in their work or careers like her. If she is a career woman, make sure to complement her for every achievement she’s accomplished. Make it clear from the start that you admire career women. Somehow make her know that should you both decide to get married or live together you would consider a working or career woman as a partner rather than a competitor.
You do not have sex with a black woman, you make love with her. You gently touch her, hold her hand, hug her and show your affection by being touchy-feel and telling her that you love her. The wonderful thing about black women is that you can be mushy and vulnerable about telling her what you feel about her. Put on the dreamy music and open the wine.Don’t be timid.Be bold and ask her for a dance if she seems to be in the mood “for all the works”. You don’t have to call her Princess to treat her like one.Make her know that it is more of your desire to please her than to be pleased by her. When making love to her, give her the best foreplay before the “main event”.
Introduce her to your family and friends and show her that you mean business: that you are serious about her. Nothing touches the heart of a black woman more than being a real man who undoubtedly loves her.Do not brag about your family achievements or your family corporation. She may get the wrong impression that you’re showing her your family only to impress her.Instead make her feel like a special guest when she meets your family. Black women can be super-sensitive. Before you take her to your family, talk to your parents and siblings and ask them to help you make your girl feel part of the family even before you’re married.
Loving a black woman and being loved by her in return is rediscovering THE real life.Only this you have finally found your forever loyal friend, partner and lover to share it with.